Spinoza. Happiness is not the reward of virtue but virtue itself; nor do we delight in happiness because we restrain our lusts; but, on the contrary, because we delight in it, therefore are we able to restrain them.
One of my favorite actors is Adam Sandler. He played a golfer in a movie titled, Happy Gilmore. The character he plays, Happy, is a golfer. He hits great drives off of the tee using an unorthodox swing (his approach to the shot includes a skip and a hop before unleashing his full strength into his swing).
Happy has great power behind his drives but he has an anger problem which greatly affects his game (his anger cost him a career in hockey). It causes a lot of problems when he’s putting (you golfers know how difficult the game can be… emotionally draining to say the least).
A technique that he learns from a guru is to imagine a ‘happy place’. This is a comedy so Happy’s ‘happy place’ includes some wild scenes (you will have to check it out for yourself). Happy is taught to use this imagining trick to help calm his nerves or his anger before taking his shots.
There are a couple points I want to make. First, it’s okay to be unorthodox just go with it and take a big swing at life. Second, when you are frustrated or upset about what life brings you, use the ‘happy place’ technique to bring some balance back to your life.
We are not going to make much progress in life without taking a full swing at it. (Baby steps may help ease the transition.) The thing about life is that the results you get depend on the amount of effort you put in. If I only put a small fraction of myself into making the transition into a better life for myself, my children, my community than the results that I receive will only be small.
I KNOW YOU, THOUGH
You’re tired of seeing small changes. Small changes just end up being swallowed up in the whole of a bad thing. You want to make a big change in your life and it requires you to make a big commitment.
No commitment that is worth taking a swing at is going to be a small one. So, take that big full swing at it.
No matter what the norm is, your being unorthodox is what will help you make a successful transition into the new you, the new lifestyle, the new relationships.
So what if no one in your particular circumstance has ever been successful. Prove to yourself that it is possible and open the door for others to do the same.
That emotion you’re feeling as you read these words… Yep, that’s the battle between your mind telling you that you cannot do it (excuses) and you spirit telling you that you know that you can (promises). Your mind and your spirit are pulling you emotionally back and forth — pulling you towards excuses and pushing you toward promises.
So, you do nothing…
But not today!!
WHAT’S YOUR ‘HAPPY PLACE’?
Close your eyes and think about your happy place…
- What does it look like?
- What are you doing?
- Who is with you?
(Be specific with your details… the colors, the smells, the sounds, the feel, maybe your tasting something…)
If the wrong elements keep popping into your thoughts (and, in the beginning, they probably will), that’s okay. With time and continued practice you will find your ‘happy place’ and you will be able to go there any time that you choose to.
Remember: This is your creation so you have the SUPREME authority over what happens and doesn’t happen. You are the king, queen, prince, or princess of your ‘happy place’.
This may sound a bit corny but… give this place a name and whenever you need to calm yourself or give yourself some strength then close your eyes and return to this place.
ONE MORE THING…
Pay attention to how your happy place makes you feel. What emotions does going there bring out in you?
Play around with your surroundings. If you add one thing, how does it make you feel? Confident? Powerful? Influential? Empathetic? Compassionate?
Ya see… that is how strong your mind is. You can even change the way you feel (emotionally, physically, and spiritually) by changing colors, how bright or dark, whether it’s in color or black and white, or the speed of things that happen in your happy place.
Try it for yourself until you find YOUR ‘happy place’.
I hope this helps… AND as always post your comments below so we can all share in each others progress and thoughts.
D Arlando Fortune
Keep it as simple as A, B, C’s; 1, 2, 3’s; and, do, re, mi’s
PS. Embrace the uniqueness of your situation and take a big swing at life anyway.
PSS. Play around with the elements and scenery of your own ‘happy place’ until you find the most empowering version for you… and USE it.