John C Maxwell. Success is usually when I work hard to better myself; significance is when I better someone else. Significance is living beyond myself to make it better for someone else.
The second time that I met this girl began as a disaster.
She was on her way down to visit me and a friend. Apparently, she had had one too many drinks. We found this out when she called from the side of the road saying, frantically, that she has rolled her car and was stranded on the high way.
I immediately got into my vehicle to go get her.
When I arrived at the ramp where she was waiting, I noticed that she had blood on her clothing, her hair was a mess, and she had visibly been crying.
I know she was shaken up by the event but I didn’t know just how bad she was feeling.
We get her back to the house and my friend spends about half an hour picking pieces of shattered glass from her hair. Then, he has her take a shower and clean herself up.
Now, after all this she is still ready to go out partying! (Cannot stop the heart of a young girl! Ha!)
FAST FORWARD A BIT INTO THE NIGHT…
We are playing Scrabble at the kitchen table (yes, of course, I am winning) when this girl makes a comment about doing her nails. She finds some nailpolish and sits down on the floor preparing herself for the task.
My inquisitive (“nosey”) side has asked her numerous questions by now. One thing that she wanted to do was be a beautician in a high-end salon. Of course, I asked her what was the problem.
Basically… her response was that she didn’t think that she had what it took to do it successfully (plus, she wanted to finish beauty school).
Big flash bulb goes off in my head…
I could use some NLP tactics to help this woman attain her chief aim in life.
But how to do it?
I asked her how often she painted her own nails. Her response was almost every day.
I told her that I could probably help her do what she wanted to do if she really wanted to.
She looked directly at me expectantly and said, “What do I do?”
That’s a great question to hear from someone that says they want a change: What do I do?
I told her that it was going to sound crazy but that if she did it that it would help her build the confidence in herself that she needed to change her life.
She was agreeable.
I then instructed her: “From now on, whenever you paint your finger nails I want you to say the following ‘I am in control of my life’. You got me?”
She nodded.”Well say it.”
“I’m in control of my life.”
“Listen, you don’t have to say it extra loud. Just loud enough that you can hear it and be happy about saying it. You enjoy painting your nails, right?”
“Yes. I love painting nails and styling hair. I don’t care for the massages too much but I like getting them.”
“Good. Now, here’s the other thing… Every time that you paint your nails your going to say what?”
“I’m in control of my life,” she says.
“Right. But, I want you to say it every stroke that you make with the nail polish.”
I mimic the hand gesture of painting my nails while saying “I’m in control of my life.” Hand gesture “I’m in control of my life.” Hand gesture “I’m in control of my life.”
I repeated this hand gesture and statement with her as she began to paint her finger nails and repeating the statement to herself.
Years later I run into this WOMAN (commitment and dedication change people gradually over time from girls to women and from boys to men).
Enthusiastically she says to me, “Fortune, I’m in control of my life!” while mimicking the hand gesture. “I still do it,” she says smiling.
I don’t know exactly what she is doing today but the last I heard she was working as a beautician in a nice shop and getting married. I’m so proud of her.
People can change when properly motivated (self-motivation), provided the right tools (mentoring/coaching), and shown some faith (inspiration).
Come get you some!!!
D Arlando Fortune
Keep it as simple as A, B, C’s; 1, 2, 3’s; and, do, re, mi’s